Most people who “don’t know how to pray” know exactly how to talk. They just freeze when the listener is God. Suddenly there must be a right way to begin, special words, a tone of voice they do not have.
There is no right way. Jesus’ disciples asked Him how to pray and He gave them sixty words that begin “Our Father.” A tax collector in one of His parables prayed seven words (“God, have mercy on me, a sinner”) and Jesus said he went home justified. Beginning is simpler than you fear.
Here is how.
Start with who, then what
Every prayer in the Bible begins the same way: by addressing God, and then saying something true.
Who. Pick a name. “Father.” “Lord.” “Jesus.” “God.” “Holy Spirit.” Any of them. If you grew up saying “Heavenly Father,” say that. If “Abba” (Jesus’ own word, roughly “Dad”) feels closer, say that. The address is not a password; it is you turning to face Someone.
What. Then say what is actually true right now. Not what you think you should feel. What is.
- “Father, I am here.”
- “Lord, I do not know how to do this.”
- “Jesus, I am so tired.”
- “God, thank You.”
- “Lord, I am angry and I do not want to be.”
That is a prayer. You have started. Everything else is continuing.
Twelve ways to open
If you want a first line to lean on:
- “Father, thank You for this day.”
- “Lord, I come to You as I am.”
- “God, I need You this morning.”
- “Jesus, be near me right now.”
- “Holy Spirit, quiet my mind.”
- “Lord, I do not have the words, but You know.”
- “Father, before I do anything else, I want to talk to You.”
- “God, You see everything I am carrying.”
- “Lord, I am sorry.”
- “Jesus, I trust You, help me trust You more.”
- “Father, here is what happened today.”
- “Lord, I am listening.”
The last one is underrated. Prayer is not only talking.
If you want structure: ACTS
Christians have used a four-part shape for centuries. The acronym is ACTS:
Adoration. Tell God something true about Him. “You are good.” “You made all this.” “You have never once failed me.” This is not flattery; it is remembering who you are talking to, which changes everything you say next.
Confession. Say what you got wrong. Specifically. Not “forgive my sins” but “I was sharp with her this morning and I knew it.” Then receive the forgiveness. 1 John 1:9 says He is faithful to give it.
Thanksgiving. Name things. Two or three concrete ones. The coffee. The person who texted. The fact that the test came back clear. Gratitude is the fastest way out of anxiety that exists.
Supplication. Ask. For yourself, for others, plainly. “Give me patience at three o’clock.” “Heal her.” “Show me what to do about the job.” Jesus said ask, and He meant it.
You do not need all four every time. But if you are stuck, walking through them will get you unstuck.
The Lord’s Prayer as a template
Jesus’ own answer to “teach us to pray” follows a shape you can borrow line by line:
- Our Father in heaven, hallowed be Your name — Adoration. Who You are.
- Your kingdom come, Your will be done — Surrender. Your plans over mine.
- Give us today our daily bread — Ask for today’s needs. Just today’s.
- Forgive us our sins, as we forgive — Confession, and the hard part: forgiving others.
- Lead us not into temptation, deliver us from evil — Protection for the fight ahead.
Pray it slowly once, then go back and put your own words under each line. “Give us today our daily bread: Lord, today I need patience with my father and courage for the meeting.”
When you have no words at all
Some days there is nothing. Grief, exhaustion, numbness. You open your mouth and nothing is there.
Three things:
Borrow. The Psalms are 150 prayers written for exactly this. Read one aloud as your own. Psalm 23 when afraid. Psalm 51 when guilty. Psalm 63 when dry. Psalm 139 when lost. Psalm 13 when God feels absent (“How long, Lord?”). You are allowed to pray someone else’s words until yours come back.
Shorten. The Jesus Prayer, “Lord Jesus Christ, Son of God, have mercy on me,” has been prayed continuously since the fourth century for a reason. It is short enough to say on one breath and complete enough to say all day. When there is nothing else, there is this.
Sit. Romans 8:26: “We do not know what we ought to pray for, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us through wordless groans.” Silence before God, with the intention of being before Him, is prayer. You do not have to fill it.
Common worries, answered
“I don’t feel anything.” Feelings are not the measure. Faithfulness is. Some of the deepest prayers in history were prayed by people who felt nothing at the time. Keep showing up.
“My mind wanders.” Everyone’s does. When you notice, just come back. Each return is itself a small act of prayer. Do not scold yourself; the Shepherd does not scold the sheep that wandered.
“I keep getting distracted by my phone.” Then the phone is the problem, not your prayer life. Put it in another room. Or use PrayerMax, which locks your distracting apps and opens them only after you pray, so the reach for the phone becomes the beginning of a prayer instead of the end of one.
“I don’t know if I’m doing it right.” If you are honestly turned toward God, you are doing it right. There is no technique that impresses Him. There is only you, showing up.
Three complete examples
A thirty-second morning prayer
Father, thank You for waking me. I do not know what today holds but You do. Give me what I need for it, keep me from what I do not, and let me notice You in it. Amen.
A prayer when anxious
Lord, my chest is tight and my thoughts are running. You said not to be anxious about anything but to bring everything to You, so here it is: I am scared about the appointment, and I am scared about money, and I am scared I will not cope. I am handing You all three. Give me the peace You promised, the kind that does not make sense. Amen.
A prayer with no words
Lord Jesus Christ, Son of God, have mercy on me. (Breathe. Say it again. Stay as long as you can.)
Just start
The hardest part of prayer is the first three words. After that, you are talking to your Father, and He has been waiting.
Pick a name. Say something true. You have begun.
